8th February, 12.15am.

Marks the 1st online sales of Blackatelier!

Whoopeedoo!

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And I hope all’s well for K&C!

Immature

I just smashed my car’s rear window. I’m pretty fucked, inside and outside.

And it got me thinking quite a lot.

Maybe I’m just too immature and too out of convenience.

I’m stressed out. I dun really want to go home. I don’t really want to do anything. I just want to sit back and relax. I laugh out of bitterness.

And I think I’m too immature for you.

I’m wearing out. So badly.

Relationship Analysis (All range).

When you think you have something, you actually don’t really have it.

When you thought it was like this, it turns out like that.

When you say 1, she says no or 2. What’s worse is when she says 1, u can’t say no or 2.

When you say sorry, it mostly don’t really help but add fuel to fire.

When you say you miss someone, you jolly well do becos you don’t want to be labelled bullshitter.

Absence makes the heart fonder, but sometimes it also makes it colder.

Sometimes too much sense doesn’t mean logic. Lose your sense of logic, it makes it more fun and enlightening.

Actions speak louder than words, but words sometimes hurts more than actions.

It’s better to be independent than dependent because nothing last forever. That’s what I was told and that’s what I’m learning.

Have no expectations then you won’t have disappointment. This should be the way, should it? Then what’s so different from being friends?

Sex doesn’t mean commitment. It can sometimes be foulplay.

Dun mind-fuck and get mind-fucked.

Friends are very important people.

Family plays a part in acceptance or your identity. Sometimes it can’t be helped that parents usually lives in denial and is delusional and oblivion to facts. Nonetheless they’re still the closest and dearest. I love you too. -shudders-

Pets cheer you up when you’re down, even better than girlfriends do.

Things always get so complicated when you first set to simplify it. It’s worse than multiplication. It’s infinity.

2 words. Chin chye. La.

Dreadful start.

Start of Jan, I’ve been slogging. 17days straight of overtime. This time I can feel myself totally drained that I don’t want to be bothered by any thing else.

I know it’s just work. No work = No money = Pls just eat shit and die.

Let me just eat shit and die.

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I’ve become such a chin chye person that I think I need to learn how to keh gao again.

Grumps.

It’s 130am on Monday morning. I’ve just finished sending 3 resumes. Just 3. Of all, none are banks. I really cannot deal with the banking industry any further.

I’m so so so tired of everything.

It’s not a feel good day. It’s only 130 am in the morning and I’ve already been hit deep by monday blues.

New Year Resolution 2010.

Quit my job and find new one. Save at least $2,000. Clear my bills on time. Find a new hobby. Prosper blackatelier. Kick start proj with JJ. Learn basic designing. Take up short fashion course.

DO NOT BE LAZY.

And quit daydreaming.

Time’s up.

It’s about time to quit saying I’m tired.

Grandma.

Traumatically haunted by it. Even till now when I think about it, my hair stands. Never once in my life was I this traumatized by a dream so vivid. Especially when I remember how grandma wailing in grief. Really breaks my heart.

Is it a sign?

I was told to pray. I will. But what’s coming will come.

My 3Ds - ”Don’t know, Don’t care and Don’t want to find out”.

I miss grandma. I hope she’s doing well in heaven. Even as I pray, you’re in my heart and mind.

Fatuous.

I’m a little affected. I guess it would be ridiculous to say I’m not a least bit. But I’m used to psychoing myself to…”Don’t know, Don’t want to find out and Don’t care.”

Should I give up the greener pastuer for 1 tree?

I can be used to being alone now.

It’s just heart and mind will-power

and lesser love to give.

Can’t wait for the big break to come.

Best day of my life.

Everthing everthing ends.

The day I die is the best day of my life.

Tell my friends and my wife and my kids

That everthing’s gonna be alright.

The day I die is the best day of my life!

Fiestaaaaa.